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This Wannabe remake will make you smile, guaranteed

July 9, 2016

The Spice Girls might not be reuniting this summer as we'd all hoped, but the idea of girl power remains 20 years after the band first released Wannabe.

The band's debut song has been remade by charity Project Everyone, in which women from all over the world tell government leaders what they really, really want - from an end to violence against women to quality education for girls.

It's honestly one of the most cheering things we've seen in weeks, and has already been endorsed by Victoria Beckham.

"I think this film is a wonderful idea," she said in a statement. "How fabulous it is that after 20 years, the legacy of the Spice Girls' 'Girl Power' is being used to encourage and empower a whole new generation."

The video features artists from Nigeria, South Africa, the UK, the US, Canada and India. The aim is that the project will prompt women from all over the world to tweet a picture demanding what they'd like to improve their lives using the hashtag #WhatIReallyReallyWant. These will then be presented to the UN General Assembly in September.

So go on ladies, have a think - what do you really, really want for yourselves?

[…]

One month to go for Rio Olympics!

July 6, 2016

IMAGE: A man looks at products during the opening of the Rio 2016 Olympics megastore on Copacabana beach in Rio de Janeiro. Photograph: Pilar Olivares/Reuters.

With just a month until the Olympic Games begin, Brazil is unraveling fast -- largely overshadowing the impending arrival of sport's greatest showpiece. But the world's biggest sporting event is the least of Brazil's worries: against a backdrop of crisis, the Olympics fall somewhere between light relief from political instability, and an unwanted financial burden on a broke Brazilian state. A crime-plagued Rio de Janeiro, on Monday enters the one-month countdown to becoming the first South American city to host the Olympics. Stadiums are all ready -- barring finishing touches -- and within weeks, Brazil expects to greet at least 5,00,000 tourists for the August 5-21 Games. The mayor, Eduardo Paes, and Brazil's Olympic committee boss Carlos Nuzman were to give a news conference marking the milestone in Rio's epic effort to transform from a beautiful but crumbling city to glittering stage for the world's most-watched event.

IMAGE: A giant banner advertising the 2016 Rio Olympics is pictured outside Copacabana neighbourhood in Rio de Janeiro. Photograph: Sergio Moraes/Reuters.

"The city is 100 per cent ready. It's an unbelievable city. I'm very proud of our city," Paes said. Some 10,000 athletes will compete over 19 days in Rio, ranging from familiar sports icons such as sprinter Usain Bolt and swimmer Michael Phelps to the stars of Olympic newbie sport rugby sevens and golf, which returns after more than a century's absence. But despite growing excitement in the sporting world and the visible transformation of Olympic sites in Rio, a mounting series of problems are overshadowing the Games. The authorities will deploy 85,000 police backed by soldiers on Rio's streets. Terrorism is a serious concern after the Islamic State group demonstrated its geographical reach, with bombings in Istanbul and Baghdad blamed on the group in the last few days.

IMAGE: The fun loving Brazil's synchronised swimming team poses for a photograph after a training session at the Maria Lenk Aquatic Centre in Rio de Janeiro. Photograph: Pilar Olivares/Reuters.

However, Rio already faces its own serious violent crime that has embarrassed Olympic organizers trying to change the city's image. Although down from horrific levels a decade ago, the murder rate is on the rise and street crime is also proliferating, symbolized by the hijacking of a truck filled with German television equipment last week. The mayor and Olympic organizers have been fighting back against a torrent of bad publicity. Despite the decision of several athletes, notably high profile golfers, to pull out of the Olympics because of fear over the mosquito-transmitted Zika virus, the authorities insist there are no serious health risks. Zika can trigger birth defects in babies born to infected mothers, but in most cases causes little beyond flu-like symptoms -- and August is a month with few mosquitoes.

[…]

Stop Scrutinizing Female Athletes For the Wrong Reasons

July 5, 2016

Dear Media,

Heads-up: Athleticism is not gendered.

Did I really just read this sentence in an article titled “This is What a Woman Looks Like“ This one right here: “Holding her trophy while in a jewel-encrusted dress, Serena reminded us that no one should ever think femininity and athleticism are mutually exclusive.”

Right. And...who cares?

I am so sick of the scrutinizing of female athletes and whether or not they are feminine, whether they can be both feminine and athletic and all the rest of that tired, sexist, clueless, despicable B.S. As one member of my Facebook community commented sarcastically, “Serena’s great, but does she hold up under the male gaze?”

New York Times sportswriter Ben Rothenberg apparently shares this concern. He has been raked over the coals for this widely criticized article focusing on Serena Williams’ body image in a way that furthers the body hatred so many women experience, right as Williams was triumphing at Wimbledon.

Do we fret about the imagined body image woes of the greatest male athletes of all time? Do we discuss whether guys can be both handsome and athletic? Both masculine and athletic? Hell no, friends, because athleticism is constantly framed by the default male gender, where it can exist for men free of stereotyped limitations.

If I say the word “athlete,” an image will pop up in your mind. Dollars to donuts that image is male. When female athletes are powerful, tough fighters, sweaty or bloody, or just simply muscular, the media reduces them to animal-like caricatures, as if attempting to shame them into their proper place as ladies.

God bless all our famous male athletes, s̶a̶c̶r̶i̶f̶i̶c̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶m̶a̶s̶c̶u̶l̶i̶n̶i̶t̶y̶ getting out there and “just doing it” in pursuit of their dreams. Whether they are winning national titles or Olympic medals, in roll the accolades and the high salaries and the prize money and the endorsement dollars.

That last thing? Not deeply dependent on their physical attractiveness or race. I know, go ahead, I know you want to. Toss out some examples of good-looking white male athletes raking it in. I’m not saying that doesn’t happen. Sure it does, but so many other factors weigh more heavily for the guys. If I ask you for examples of average-looking white male athletes or black male athletes pulling down millions in endorsements, you’ll have tons of those examples as well—many more, relatively speaking, than on the female side of the equation.

Here’s the thing—we all have bodies that do things, not just men. I know it’s hard to see past the obsessively ornamental presentation of female bodies in the media, even those of female athletes, but female bodies don’t just pose. They don’t just decorate the world. If they are athletic, they often don’t succeed without strong and prominent muscles. They run and jump and sweat and even bleed. Don’t try to reconcile that with femininity—that is femininity, because femininity is many things. It needs no justification. It needs no explanation. It needs no reinvention. Just let it be.

So now we understand each other? Good. Next!

[…]

What makes Tejas important?

July 1, 2016

It is a red-lettered day in the history of Indian Air Force. Tejas, the home-grown brainchild of HAL has finally been inducted into the IAF bandwagon.

It is special in many ways, not just because it is the revolutionary Light Combat Aircraft (LCA), but also because it is made in India.

Analysing the importance of Tejas

Spearheading the coumtry's Make in India project, Tejas is a game-changer in the true sense. But this has come after a lot of sacrifices and failures. In the 1980s, India had almost lost all its domestic capabilities for developing fighter aircraft on account of the HF-24 Marut, India's first homegrown fighter, not being succeeded by a follow on program.

Due to this, a number of standard test facilities such as the LCA mini bird & iron Bird for flight control system Integration, a dynamic avionics integration rig, brake dynamometer & drop test rigs, secondary power system and fuel system test rigs, engine test bed, mobile electromagnetic interference/compatibility test facility etc. had to be set up in India from scratch by the Aeronautical Development Agency (ADA) which manages the overall LCA/Tejas development program.

Interestingly, by now 65% of the components are now indigenous, which may get a boost by 80% in the coming years.

The Tejas development cost was Rs 7,000 crore, which is nothing in front of the huge expenses met for similar aircrafts around the world.

Former IAF- Chief NAK Brown hailed LCA Tejas project saying that its record with no major accidents was unprecedented. Incidentally, Tejas received an Initial Operational Clearance (IOC) the very next day. A pride moment for the country as India's military aviation got a boost through this, apart from several new programmes, which include Mk2 variants of Navy and Air Force; Advanced Medium Combat Aircraft; Unmanned Air Systems; Fifth Generation Fighter Aircraft and Medium Transport Aircraft.

However, what is commendable is the fact that it is likely to replace the MiG fleet that is prone to accidents and malfunctioning.

While according the IOC to Tejas in December 2013, the then defence minister-AK Antony had said:

"The improvements to the aircraft have enhanced the flight envelope of the aircraft and also weapon delivery capability of the aircraft. The performance at Iron Fist, Jaisalmer and the recent missile firing at Goa are examples of such improvements. The reliability of the aircraft and serviceability has also been enhanced. The number of flights nearing 500 within this year provides an indication of this. Operating at IAF bases namely, Jamnagar, Jaisalmer, Uttarlai, Gwaliar, Goa, Leh, Pathankot demonstrate the aircraft capability to operate from Air Force bases. There have also been occasions when the same aircraft has flown thrice on the same day, indicating the operational reliability of this home-bred fighter aircraft."

Features of Tejas

Tejas is light weight, single engine, single seat and supersonic, multirole, combat aircraft. It has been developed for both land and carrier borne operations. Some of the other features included: The quadruplex digital fly-by-wire flight control system: This ensures acceptable handling qualities while ensuring adequate safety throughout the flight envelope.

Glass cockpit open architecture, which compliments piloting.

Multi Mode Weapon multirole capability, which can fire laser guided bombs

Can fly without telementary support

It can help carry out air superiority and offensive air support missions, forward air field operations, all weather multi role operations, electronic counter measures and night flying operations.

Tejas is capable of flying non-stop to destinations over 1700 km away and its Radius of Action is up to 500 km depending upon the nature and duration of actual combat.

Indeed, after the ISRO's space missions, Tejas is a moment of truth and pride for India.

[…]

महिला को रस्सी से बांधकर लाना झारखंड पुलिस को महंगा पड़ा, चार पुलिसकर्मी सस्पेंड

June 23, 2016

राजस्‍थान के अलवर में गिरफ्तार महिला को रस्सी से बांधकर लाना झारखंड पुलिस को महंगा पड़ा है। मामले को गंभीरता से लेते हुए गढ़वा पुलिस अधीक्षक ने अलवर गए पुलिस टीम में शामिल सभी चार पुलिसकर्मियों को निलंबित कर दिया है। गिरफ्तार महिला को जेल भेज दिया गया है।

गौरतलब है कि अलवर से गिरफ्तार इस महिला के पूरे परिवार के 17 लोगों के खिलाफ कोर्ट ने गिरफ्तारी वारंट जारी किया था। मामला यह दहेज उत्पीड़न से जुड़ा है। गढ़वा जिले की प्रियंका शाही पिता वाईके शाही ने गढ़वा थाने में प्रताड़ना और दहेज मामले को लेकर पति सहित 23 लोगों के खिलाफ प्राथमिकी दर्ज़ कराई थी। प्रियंका का विवाह राजस्थान के अरवल निवासी सिद्धार्थ राव के साथ 10 मई 2015 को हुआ था, लेकिन पारिवारिक विवाद के कारण प्रियंका अपने घर चली आई। इसके बाद उसने दहेज उत्पीड़न का मामला दर्ज़ करवाया था।

कोर्ट के दहेज अधिनियम के तहत वारंट पर गढ़वा पुलिस आरोपियों को गिरफ्तार करने अलवर गयी थी, लेकिन ज्‍यादातर वारंटी फरार थे। प्रियंका की ननद को गढ़वा पुलिस अलवर में ही मेडिकल चेकअप के लिए ले गई जहां से उसकी कमर पर रस्सी बांधकर गढ़वा ले जाया जा रहा था। मामले में एक एसआई, दो महिला कांस्‍टेबल और एक सिपाही को निलंबित कर दिया गया है। प्रियंका शाही के पिता गढ़वा मे ही सेशन जज हैं।

[…]

Romantic desire...defies practicality, loves the forbidden

May 28, 2016

In theory the equation is simple and flawless. Society, law and religion encourage marriage and families; marriage (today) is about love; married sex is a declaration of that love; sex stems from love and desire; thus desire, love (and intimacy) and sex (monogamous) are the smooth cogs of the matrimony wheel on which the locomotive of marriage (ought to) journeys frictionless all the way to Eden! One-man-one-woman-fifty-years-exclusive-consistent-desire-and-monogamous-se!

The land of happily ever after!

Yet gaping holes appear! Desire refuses to follow the neat path chartered out by the two involved and the body behaves as if it has a mind of its own.

Promising to do something next month is one thing, promising to feel one way after 30 years is something altogether different. No wonder Eden is easily reached and sustained only in the advertisements of jewellery, perfumes and homes!

Laura Kipnis author of Against Love says that we carry the weight of "modern love's central anxiety," namely, "the expectation that romance and sexual attraction can last a lifetime of coupled togetherness despite much hard evidence to the contrary." For the first time in history, we don't have sex to accrue a large family, nor is it exclusively a female marital duty. Sex, today, in a long-term relationship is rooted in desire.

And, desire, by its very nature, is insubordinate! It does not care about laws and rules, morality and mores, right or wrong, convenience and posterity. It refuses to cede control. Strangely in one way it is also a peek at what is 'unmanageable' within us, a feel of our instincts, and in some fundamental way, it is a statement of what we are deep within. These lines I read from the book, The pure and the Impure, is one I revisit often. "But what is the heart, madame? It's worth less than people think. It's quite accommodating, it accepts anything. You give it whatever you have, it's not very particular. But the body... Ha! That's something else again! It has a cultivated taste, as they say, it knows what it wants. A heart doesn't choose, and one always ends up by loving."

Desire defies practicality, when it has approval, it palls; when it is forbidden, it becomes unbearably exciting. It craves for what it doesn't have, what it does, it doesn't want!

Desire is erratic and whimsical, it refuses to follow straight lines, it seeks obsessively and when it lands at what it seeks, it loses interest. It aches with unfulfilled desire, once satiated it turns cruelly indifferent.

Desire does not follow convention; it conflicts with our understanding of right and wrong. We find ourselves attracted to the bad boys and to mean girls. We value people who are kind, dependable and generous but we get attracted to the bitches, to the Casanovas, to the ones we know who will try and find an exit the moment lovemaking finishes! Respect, which is essential to a democratic relationship, becomes an appalling burden in desire. We feel secure in safety, desire favours risk, we go to lengths to prove our endurance to our partners, desire gets enticed to novelty.

Desire thrives on inequality, on excess; rationality and democracy in sex equates to boredom! It asks for subjugation, it offers surrender; it likes the game unfair and mean, even cruel and violent (at times, to a certain degree). It humiliates and in surrender finds 'connection', it begs to be subjugated and in aggression finds excitement. Remember books on woman's fantasies, Fifty Shades of Grey? My Secret Garden? Desire likes the edge, it wants uncertainty and mystery, it is helpless not to. Milan Kundera in his book The Unbearable Lightness of Being said, "Physical love is unthinkable without violence."

Desire is a fever that runs its course, one way or the other. It is that inescapable presence in our lives which refuses to sit neatly on top of love and marriage and all other systems prescribed and sanctioned by the society, state and law. Desire is our biggest blessing and our worst nightmares, at times at once!

For more articles by Raksha Bharadia visit This-Page

[…]

Just Do It

May 16, 2016

Standing on the ocean bank on the last day of our trip I threw a rock into the water symbolizing everything I didn't want to take home with me: fear, worry, and doubt. I was surprised that these three cliche buzz words were the obstacles that surfaced, considering they had been my trigger points when other women would express what they're "struggling" with.

My inner response in these conversations was often something along the lines of: "OMG! Stop talking in circles and being such a baby about it! JUST DO IT!" But in this season, I felt differently. I guess you can say I briefly understood the paralyzing anxiety caused by fear, worry, and doubt. And for me they're all stemmed from the mother of all cliche buzz words: L E A D E R S H I P. Okay, I'll back the train up a bit and explain that within the last year I had to decide where my business was actually going.

For years, I have been a freelance graphic designer dabbling in different formats of doing business. I've built a business on creating custom designed logos, brands, and websites for small creative businesses. To say I've been blessed would be an understatement.

The idea of "Will this work?" is a captivating concept to me because I love pioneering the spaces and places undiscovered. For years I've been able to explore this question in my day-to-day process of creating in an artistic expression. Things like a painting, creating a graphic, or building a website design from the ground up have been my safe go to places to create. Like so many small business owners, I've faced the daunting reality that my current infrastructure is challenged to support the possibilities of future growth. Some days it feels like a beautiful disaster. I find myself frequently asking, "WHERE DOES IT GO FROM HERE?"

With a lot of trial and error, failure and success, I have to admit that I have struggled to know if I have what it takes to be a "leader" and grow my business into the company that I imagine. Sure, I'm creative, I have some influence and I can make stuff happen, but, I'm asking the core question: AM I MEANT TO BE A LEADER? [Gulp] Cue fear, worry, and doubt.

It's possible that I'm being completely melodramatic and that God's vision for this business is to simply be a secondary stream of income for me and my family. I could stay lean and mean, giving me the opportunity to work from home when we start a family. And if that's what God's desire is for this-then I trust Him completely in that gift. But I can't help but think there is more to the story than "coasting." I have come to the conclusion that I'm not a "leader" in my conventional understanding of the concept. I don't geek out on HR protocols and strategies or respond within the first 20 seconds of an email hitting my inbox. I rarely wake up at 5:00am to go for a run, do my morning devo, analyze my databases while delegating all my to-dos, and of course, all before breakfast. I definitely haven't written a lengthy book on "The 5 Best Pathways To A Great Leader."

THAT'S NOT ME! Cue worry, fear, and doubt again. I have built up this idea in my mind of what a leader is and what a leader isn't based on things I've read, seen, and experienced in others. I've easily categorized myself in the genre of what a leader ISN'T and convinced myself of the reasons why I can't grow my small business into a thriving company. Namely, because I'm an unconventional "leader."

I'm a simple art girl, with a few big dreams, who loves to create stuff that helps other people do what they love to do in their lives/ministry/work. This season has taught me that I have placed too much emphasis on the idea of the word "leadership" instead of just accepting the position and the opportunity that God has naturally wired me up to do and put right in front of me.

Maybe the concept of leadership isn't something we should get over-fixated on. Rather, as we courageously step into our unique calling, we'll realize the leadership capacity we need will follow the calling we've been given. So, go grab a rock that identifies the places in your life/business/ministry that are holding you back from really launching into all that God wants to do in and through you. Find some deep water and throw those suckers. Personally, though I don't have it all figured out, one thing I know is that I don't want to let fear, worry, and doubt be my anchor anymore.

So, stop being a baby about it and JUST DO IT!

[…]

In Honor of Mother's Day: Can Working Moms Compete?

May 7, 2016

This Sunday will be my first mother's day as a mom. My son was born in July and I returned to my full-time job in January, making this not only my first celebration of motherhood, but of working motherhood. Coming back to work was in some ways like entering a parallel universe: the office looked similar to before, but suddenly I knew where the lactation rooms were (and what they were), coordinated with other moms daily to manage shared pumping resources, and manipulated my calendar to cater to a nanny's schedule as well as all of my client-facing and internal meetings. I used to envy the women with kids who "got to" leave the office at 5pm. Ha! I now know just how heavy and stressful the responsibilities of childcare are, that primary care givers don't get to make trade-offs at work, but have to: a forcing function that often leads to more anxiety, an inability to take the best projects, and for some a pay-cut or a change in role-all trade-offs that people without children could make as well by the way, to make time for reading or knitting or hanging out with friends or what have you, but that are foisted upon most primary caregivers just to meet the bar child services would set. I hadn't realized how privileged I was to only have to manage the expectations of my team, my direct bosses, my clients, my husband and my friends, instead of all of those plus a tiny being who needs constant attention. And I only have one child!

In talking to other moms at a conference last week (this applies to all primary caregivers, but in my small circle they were all women), they started to confess that when it came to work they felt like they had a big, beautiful string tying one hand behind their backs: motherhood was an amazing experience, but it made it much harder to handle a high-powered career, especially in the face of competition from non-primary caregivers, namely most men and many women who don't have kids. At the end of the day, they wondered, in a dog-eat-dog world when some people are able to give 150% to their firms, can working moms compete?

There are definitely moments when this particular working mom loses confidence, but overall I think we absolutely can find success at work, and here's why:

Talent and experience matter. Sure, you may not be able to spend 100 hrs a week in the office, or get on a plane to Mumbai at a moment's notice, but for knowledge work firms need more than just a warm body with a plane ticket. If you are good at your job and have some years of experience, you are probably still worth more at 40 hrs a week than the new guy who's willing to offer 70.

Diversity is valuable in and of itself. This concept has been demonstrated time and time again, in academic research on teaming as well as in professional settings, so I will just add to the body of research briefly with an anecdote of my own. A colleague of mine once recounted an old project in the beauty industry, which required a deep understanding of salon employee dynamics to get to the key change required. He used the story to illustrate how non-obvious yet powerful the insight was-but this 'wow' factor was completely lost on my mother. "Of course that's how a salon works, I could have told you that day one. What, did they not have any women on the team?" Women, including women with kids, contribute to work settings by virtue of their diverse experiences and viewpoints. On a court full of power forwards, point guards add value just by being different: value that only increases with the talent and experience described above.

Careers are long. Though some of us may be racing towards early retirement (good for you!), many of us will spend 40-50+ years working. Justus Rosenberg, recently profiled in the NY times, is still teaching at Bard at 95 years old. The period of time during which we have young children at home (or ailing parents for that matter, or other major non-work obligations), while it sometimes seems never-ending, is likely actually a relatively small fraction of our entire careers. So, even if there are times when we need to prioritize something in addition to work, we don't need to fall permanently behind, or "quit" and never look back. Employers are increasingly realizing this, and building clear on- and off- ramps to ease these transitions and reduce the penalties for taking a more "scenic route" through their career paths.

So, can working moms compete? Absolutely. And we should, because if we aren't in the work place our country's goods and services will suffer, and so will our work places. Savvy employers know this and are trying to retain us, but it's critical that we know it too. We can't feel like our employers are doing us a huge favor by offering maternity leave, flexible hours, or alternative career paths, piling guilt and insecurity on top of a grueling workload. Do free agents feel guilty when a pro team offers them a lot of perks to sign on, or stay? We must realize and appreciate that companies are changing the structures of their career paths and job descriptions not because they love the idea of doing us a solid, but because it's good business to attract a talented and diverse workforce, of which us working moms are a key part. We have to have the confidence that-to borrow from the ad world-we're worth it.

[…]

Narada Teaches Yuddhishtra a Householder's Dharma

April 18, 2016

Once king Yuddhishtra, the eldest of the five Pandavas, was conducting a big Vedic sacrifice. At that opportune moment sage Narada decided to bless the sacrifice with his presence. Welcoming Narada with all due respect, Yuddhishtra, with folded hands, asked him the following question for the benefit of all humanity:

"Oh divine sage!, please explain to me the course of conduct by which a householder like me, who is too much attached to his house and property, can attain moksha easily."

Bhagawan Narada replied: "A person, living the life of a householder, should perform all the karma prescribed for a householder, but offer it to God. He should also serve great saints and mahatmas. Whenever he gets the time, he should go and live amongst people who have given up worldly life and hear from them stories about the various avatars of God. The companionship of these holy people will have the following effect on the householder: Like the person who, getting up from a dream, feels no attachment to the objects seen in his dream, similarly, as the householder's mind becomes purer and purer by satsang with holy men, he will gradually start reducing attachment to his body, wife, children, money etc, because in any case they are one day going to separate from him. A wise person should serve his body and family only to the extent that is functionally necessary and not more. He should be detached from inside but show attachment outside and behave like an ordinary, typical person. He should, without any attachment, acquiesce to whatever his parents, brothers, children or friends say or want."

"A householder, looking for emancipation, should carry out his duties while enjoying what he gets from the heavens (like crops due to rainfall), from the earth (like gold, gems etc), and whatever he gets by fate. He should understand that all wealth is created by Lord Vishnu and is obtained through His grace only, therefore, he should not hoard the wealth given to him but utilise it in the service of the aforementioned holy men. Remember, man has right over only that much as is necessary for quenching his hunger. The person who lays claim on the surplus wealth is nothing but a thief. He should be punished."

"A householder should think of deer, camels, donkeys, monkeys, mice, serpents, birds and flies like his own children and hence these should not be driven out of the house or fields if they enter and begin to eat. Even though he may be a householder, he should not go through too much trouble to obtain the three purusharthas - dharma, artha and kama. Rather, he should remain satisfied and make do with whatever he is able to get according to time, place and luck. He should share all objects of enjoyment with everyone, right down to dogs, sinners and people belonging to the lowest strata of society, and only then utilise them for his own use. What more can I say, even his wife, whom he claims as his own should be deputed to serve guests at home, even at the cost of his own neglect. People lay down their lives for their wives. One is ready to go against one's own elders for her. Such is the attachment to one's wife. The man who can remove his attachment from such a wife wins over the great Lord Vishnu, who otherwise is unconquerable. How despicable is this body, which if buried is going to become the food of worms, or excreta if eaten by animals, or reduced to ashes if cremated! Equally despicable is the body of the wife who contributes to its erotic pleasures! But how great is the infinite soul which pervades even the sky?" "A grihastha should consume for his personal self only those items which are leftover after he has performed the five daily yajnas (pancha maha yajnas). The wise person, who does not lay claim to the surplus that remains is elevated to the status of saints."

"Whatever the householder obtains through his vocation as per his varnaashrama dharma, with that he should daily worship the gods, rishis, humans, other living beings, his ancestors (pitras) and his inner self. This is nothing but the worship of One God in different forms." "If the householder has the required means as well the requisite qualifications for performing sacrifices, he should worship God with yajnas like Agnihotra etc. Even though God Himself is the enjoyer of all sacrificial offerings, He is much more satisfied when He is propitiated with rich food, dripping with ghee, offered through the mouths of brahmins, than He is with oblations offered through the sacred fire. Therefore, you should satisfy all - brahmins, gods, the five yajnas, humans and other creatures. In this way, you will be able to worship all living entities, or in other words, the Supreme God residing inside all living beings."

"If sufficiently rich, the householder should perform according to his means, shraddha, the ritual for their departed parents and ancestors. Since a son is to thus revere his elders even after their death, what to say that he is expected to serve them when they are alive! Actually, having inherited their wealth, the son shows his gratitude to his parents by doing nothing to sully their reputation. Doing shraddha purifies the mind and helps also to strengthen belief in life after death. One should feed a maximum of three brahmins in shraddha, and however rich a person may be, he should not expand the shraddha too much. This is because if large scale invitations are given then it becomes difficult to sustain the necessary levels of purity required for the shraddha. Before being offered to the brahmins, the food prepared for shraddha should first be offered to the gods (bhog lagana).

In fact, anytime you divide your food between gods, rishis, pitras, living beings, relatives and one's own self, these all should be viewed as identical with God, Who resides in all of us."

"One who understands the essence of dharma should not serve non vegetarian food, nor eat it at the time of shraddha, for there is no real gratification in the slaughter of animals but there is supreme satisfaction with food which is fit for sages. Actually, for those who wish to follow the correct course of conduct, there is no higher dharma than abstaining from violence towards all living beings either through mind, word or action."

"It is the duty of householders to indulge in charity on auspicious occasions like makar-sakranti, akshaya-trittya etc, as anything given to the gods, pitras, brahmins, humans on these days bears endless (akshaya) fruit. A householder should also regularly visit places of pilgrimage. Any virtuous act performed in such places gives a thousandfold fruit."

"However, remember one thing, the universe is a big tree with infinite creatures. Its root is Bhagawan Krishna. Therefore, gratifying Him leads to the gratification of all creatures. Thus, many people worship His idols with great reverence. But those who cultivate hatred towards other humans, their worship remains futile and does not yield any fruit. Even amongst the humans, a brahmin is considered the most deserving of veneration because through his tapasya, studies etc, he bears within himself the Veda, which is nothing but the body of God. Indeed brahmins, who purify the three worlds with the dust of their feet, are venerated even by the Supreme God Krishna."

"The very definition of dharma is that which removes hurdles in the way to a person's moksha. The person wishing to follow the path of dharma should steer clear of the five forms of Adharma. These are:

1). Vidharma: It is that which though practiced as dharma, obstructs another person's dharma.

2). Paradharma: This is when a person follows the dharma prescribed for another varna or ashrama. For example, a brahmin picking up the sword, even when there is no emergency.

3). Upadharma: This is hypocrisy or performing dharma merely for showing off.

4). Chhala: Interpreting the shastras (scriptures) otherwise by jugglery of words.

5). Abhasa: When one resorts to a course of conduct according to one's own fancy, different from the duties prescribed for one's particular varna and ashrama in the shastras, then it is known as 'abhasa', meaning that which given only an 'impression' of dharma, but is actually not so. Indeed, varna and ashrama have been prescribed by God Krishna Himself, according to our innate natures (Bhagavad Gita 4.13). When they are followed, they lead to innermost peace." "One who is a dharmatma (follower of dharma), even though he may be poor, should not attempt to earn money either for the sake of his own subsistence or even for performance of dharma. Because the person who ceases from all endeavours for his livelihood, gains to an 'effortless state', and it is this very effortless state which takes care of his subsistence, much like the proverbial python whose subsistence carries on without any effort on its part (ajgar-vritti). How can the happiness enjoyed by a selfcontented person who has no desires and delights in his own self, be obtained by a person who is always tormented by one desire or the other and runs hither and thither in the search of money? Like the person wearing shoes has no fear from thorns and pebbles, similarly for the person who has contentment (santosha) in his heart, there is sukha always and in all places, and no dukha at all. Indeed, a self-satisfied man can be happy by merely getting water to drink. However, one who is driven by desires, especially those of the stomach and the genitals, is reduced to the status of a dog in his own house."

"Yuddhishtra! There are three impediments to a person's moksha - kama (desire), krodha (anger) and lobha (greed), (Bhagavad Gita 16.21). One should win over kama by practicing restraint; krodha by giving up desires and lobha by recognizing money (artha) to be nothing but a source of trouble (anartha). And finally, one should win over fear by realisation of the Ultimate Truth. Actually, one can win over all these faults merely by bhakti towards one's guru. Indeed a guru is a direct manifestation of God Himself, who imparts to man the light of knowledge. But for the person who thinks of the Guru as an ordinary mortal, the hearing of shastras of is as futile as the bath of an elephant (who bathes in water quite thoroughly, but as soon as it comes on the shore it takes some dust from the ground and strews it over its body)." "The ultimate aim is to cultivate the three types of advaita (oneness) in life. These are:

1). Bhava-Advaita: This is the comprehension of the essential oneness of cause and effect, like thread and cloth. Similarly, any difference between God, who is the cause of the world, and the world is unreal or illusory.

2). Kriya-Advaita: This is the offering of all actions to God and realising that the mind, word or body, used to accomplish an act, are but mere instruments.

3). Dravya-Advaita: Realizing that one's own self-interest is not different from one's wife, children, as well as all living beings. Finally, Yuddhishtra! For a particular person, the particular material he is allowed to acquire at a particular time by a particular means, as entitled by the shastras, except in emergencies, he should conduct his life according to only those materials. Oh king! The householder who abides by these duties prescribed in the shastras, eventually attains unity with Bhagawan Krishna."

[…]

Riddhi Doshi- An interview

April 14, 2016

1. NS: Tell us about you and your venture Rhyns Academy.

Riddhi: I am a Professional Independent Trainer with an extensive background in developing, conducting and supervising training programs for various clients using blended learning concepts, including stand-up and one-on-one concept. My specializations lie in soft skills training for Personal and Self Development.

I run my own training company called Rhyns Academy Pvt Ltd which focuses on Personality Development, Academic enrichment, attitude, body language, confidence building, dining etiquettes, leadership skills, personality grooming, presentation skills, self esteem, self grooming, social etiquettes, soft skills, table etiquette and time management.

What started off as an urgent need to teach the youth of today some basic manners and good values after an unpleasant incident at a coffee shop; soon snowballed into a full-fledged academy which conducts classes in schools, colleges, IIMs and even Multinational Corporate.

Thanks to the support of my family and my team at Rhyns, I have had the honor of being the National award winner for cultural activities and been certified for Personality Development from Mumbai & London.

2. NS: What message you want to give to women who want to achieve their dream of being an entrepreneur come true but cannot put forth the important first step towards it?

Riddhi: I believe that there is a vast lacking in gender equality and this by far the biggest feminist issue world over. So if women want to achieve their dream of being an entrepreneur, they have to first and foremost believe in themselves. Only if you believe in your dream and in yourself can you even think of a plan/ a strategy for your venture. Understanding that there will be many cynics and many critics is the key. What is important is to brush aside unfavorable comments from non-believers and accepting positive feedback from family and well wishers. I also believe in the strength of the family; if your better half, your children and your family believes in you and stands by you, then no strength in the world can ever defeat you. Finally, women also need to learn prioritize and compartmentalize before setting up their venture. It makes no sense if you take an order or a commitment and are unable to deliver because of an issue at home! It is not easy; but it is doable. We are after all women and have the gift of being able to multitask!

3. NS: Any tips for parents to inculcate values in children

Riddhi: Education begins at home and children learn the most not by hearing but by seeing. If you are disrespectful to your parents or your helpers; then the child learns the same! Good values and good etiquettes are best learnt from watching. 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'! What that basically means is that if you want to be treated well in this world, you should treat others well. This applies to our children as well. If we want them to learn good values, then we need to show them the same.

4. NS: What is your success mantra?

Riddhi: Hard work, undying belief in myself and faith in humanity is my mantra for success. I believe that there are no shortcuts to success. You have to work hard, give it your best and more and believe in the quality of your product or service. The day you start questioning your intentions or the quality of your product; it will be a downward spin!

5. NS: are the positive qualities you have which makes you successful women?

Riddhi: I genuinely believe that every individual is good and just; and because of that I have been able to make friends easily. This gives me the opportunity to meet and interact with many people, which is an important need in my line of business. An open, easy approach and a wiliness to learn have always been vital to my success.

Riddhi's Favorite:

Season: Winter

Book: Who Moved My Cheese

Music: Soft Instrumental tracks of Kenny G

Color: Blue, Pink, Red

[…]

Maria, Meldonium and Morals: When Excellence is All That Matters

March 24, 2016

Maria Sharapova isn't the first well-known sportsperson to be indicted for doping and she certainly won't be the last. As long as the relentless perform-or-perish ethos of the competitive sports persist, it is only natural for champions wanting to sustain their winning edge.

Which brings us to the larger question: what is so wrong in using drugs to enhance performance? How is it very different (and very wrong) from using high-tech running shoes or graphite rackets? Or if that seems too straightforward: relying on special diets and supplements and surgery?

The line between cultivating natural gifts and corrupting them with artifice may not always be clear, according to Michael J Sandel who has been pondering over these questions at length as Harvard University professor of Philosophy and Morals.

He says: "The problem with drugs is that they provide a short cut, a way to win without striving. But striving is not the point of sports; excellence is."

Why are Certain Enhancements Admissible?

And indeed if we agree with Sandel that it is excellence that we are chasing then why is it wrong to use 'enhancements' and, more importantly, why are certain 'enhancements' okay, but others are not? What about innovative training?

Nike's high-altitude training programme at Oregon for marathon runners and EPO, a hormone produced by the kidney that stimulates red blood cell production, both boost aerobic endurance by increasing the blood's capacity to carry oxygen, but the ruling on which was objectionable was a complex and lengthy task for international monitoring agencies.

Tiger Woods' Lasik surgery to remedy his eye-sight is acceptable but other innovative surgeries may not pass muster.

Snapshot

Sharapova Doping Row

In the competitive environment of sports, where excellence is all that matters, question is why usage of enhancements is unethical.

Doping debate becomes more convoluted when one takes into account the tussle between the natural talent and the trait acquired through hard work.

With rapid progress in eugenics it will be very difficult to distinguish between the 'naturally gifted' and the enhanced.

In Sharapova's case, for nine years she takes a drug and no one raises an eyebrow and then overnight she finds herself embroiled in a doping row.

Naturally Gifted Versus Acquired Trait

Extensively detailing the instances of rampant drug-intake in international sports and how the game today is not about an athlete taking drugs but about who can pass the drug test, author Malcolm Gladwell in a New Yorker piece titled 'Drugstore Athlete' says:

"Even as we assert this distinction on the playing field, though, we defy it in our own lives. We have come to prefer a world where the distractable take Ritalin, the depressed take Prozac, and the unattractive get cosmetic surgery to a world ruled, arbitrarily, by those fortunate few who were born focused, happy, and beautiful."

Muddying the water is the widely debated tussle between 'natural' or inherited talent and one acquired predominantly through hard work and by the striving ones. There is a natural human tendency to romanticise (and celebrate) grit and determination especially when it comes to pushing the limits of the human body.

But with rapid strides in eugenics and designer babies just round the corner it will be very difficult to tell the difference between the 'natural gifted' and the enhanced.

Need to Introspect

In a statement the five-time Grand Slam champion says that she was prescribed a medication given to those suffering from diabetes and low magnesium and the oversight on her part lies in not corroborating whether the chemical was on the banned list, as updated by the International Tennis Federation every year.

For nine years an athlete takes a drug and it is perfectly all right and then overnight she is branded a 'doper'.

Surely, the entire sporting fraternity could benefit from some perspective here.

[…]

The Incredible Story of Neerja Bhanot - Indian Flight Attendant Who Saved 360 Lives

January 30, 2016

On the morning of September 5, 1986, Pan Am Flight 73 landed in Karachi. It had arrived from Mumbai and, had nothing gone wrong, would have departed for Frankfurt and onward to New York City. The flight was carrying, among members of other nationalities, Indians, Germans, Americans, and Pakistanis.

Unfortunately, the flight was hijacked while it was parked on the tarmac at Jinnah International Airport in Karachi.

Four heavily-armed terrorists, dressed as airport security guards, entered the aircraft while firing shots from an automatic weapon and seized control of the plane.

This is the story of Neerja Bhanot, the senior flight attendant on board, who helped a number of passengers escape. She was murdered while shielding three children from terrorist fire, less than 25 hours before her 23rd birthday.

After the terrorists boarded the plane, Neerja alerted the cockpit crew, who escaped through an overhead hatch in the cockpit. As the senior-most crew member remaining on board, this left Neerja in charge. One of the terrorists asked the flight crew to collect and hand over the passports of all passengers on board. When Neerja realised that the primary targets of the terrorists were American passengers, she hid their passports - even discarding some of them down the rubbish chute. From a total of 41 American passengers, only 2 were killed.

After holding passengers and crew members hostage for 17 hours on the runway, the terrorists opened fire. Neerja stayed on the plane to help passengers escape, even though she could have been the first to leave. She was shot while shielding three children from the bullets being fired by the terrorists.

Most of us will never find ourselves in a high-pressure situation, facing life or death the way Neerja did. True bravery emerges in the face of fear. We might never know what Neerja was thinking or feeling during those terrible hours of the hijacking, but we do know that she chose to respond to the actions of the terrorists with exceptional grace, courage, and grit. Of the 380 passengers and crew members on Flight 73, 20 were killed.

While many others were injured, they did survive - in no small part due to the actions of a 22-year-old flight attendant who chose compassion over cowardice and performed her duty till the very end.

[…]

Multiracial Teens Talk About Their Identity Rip Tides

November 18, 2015

The pressures and rejections come from within, from peers, from different sides of their families. "No matter how hard I tried I was always too white for the black kids and too black for the white kids," says one girl. The second in a three-part series on multiracial teens.



Lexi Brock is co-president of Project RACE's teen initiative.

In middle school, Allyson Gonzalez thought befriending white girls would stop the other Brooklyn public school students from teasing her about her thick eyebrows and hairy arms.

However, her new friends acted outright, "horribly" racist to certain students. Gonzalez went along with them, but would be nice to the other students in private. After witnessing this behavior, she then decided "if anything was bad, it was being white."

Now a college freshman at Hunter College, Gonzalez, who is German, Irish and Puerto Rican, identifies as a "multiracial white-Hispanic woman." She blames "social pressure" for the delayed acceptance of her mixed background, she said in an email interview.

Young people who are multiracial are four times more likely to switch their racial identity than to consistently report one identity, sociologists Steven Hitlin, J.Scott Brown and Glen H. Elder found in their 2006 research, cited by sociologists Kerry Ann Rockquemore, David Brunsma and Daniel J. Delgado in their 2009 piece published in the Journal of Social Issues.

This is part of the multiracial "journey," according to freelance writer Hannah Gomez, who also works with the advocacy organization We Need Diverse Books. In her 2013 paper "This, That, Both, Neither: The Badging Of Biracial Identity In Young Adult Realism," she combined evidence from modern fiction and scientific research to identify a three-step process in multiracial identity development. First, individuals are confronted with a situation causing them to reject one side of their race. They then seek a community that does not pressure them to disconnect with one of their sides. Finally, they achieve a sense of empowerment that successfully leads to identifying with a mixed label.

"Structural, systemic racism says that people must be easily defined and sorted into groups, and race is an easy way to do that," said Gomez in an email interview.

While she added that no one needs to embrace all of her background, individuals are often told to embrace just one, resulting in "a lot of undue stress."

Peer Pressures

Not fitting into one easy category led Lexi Brock, who is white and African American, to Project RACE, where she is co-president of its teen initiative. The 16-year-old Georgia native grew up in the predominantly white suburb of Toccoa and did not realize she had a blended background until middle school. The adversity she faced there toward multiracial people lowered her self-esteem and increased her need to "blend in," she said in a phone interview.

Every morning for three years, Brock would spend two hours straightening her thick curly hair to conform to the sleek thinner hairstyles of her white peers.

"I did not want to bring to light my African American features," Brock said. "I would look in the mirror and think 'I don't look like the other girls.' I tried losing weight to make my hips not be so protruding."

"I remember people saying 'oh you can't date her, she's mixed' as if having tanned skin affected my character," Brock said in a speech this spring at an event celebrating people in Toccoa who overcame personal obstacles. "No matter how hard I tried I was always too white for the black kids and too black for the white kids."

Like Brock, 18-year-old Raina Salvatore from Queens, N.Y, faced peer pressure that made it feel hard to embrace her Italian, Portuguese and Indian heritages.

"When I was younger, I'd have peers who'd tell me, 'you're not Indian' or 'you're not Portuguese,'" she said in an online interview. "I have friends who make jokes about it, but truth be told, it's really rude."

She was often told she was "too white" to be Indian or couldn't be a certain race because she wasn't "culturally proficient in any." Thus, until seventh grade, she identified more with her Italian heritage.

While teenage sisters Angela and Julie Lavarello never rejected their background, some members of their cultural community did make them feel self-conscious about being mixed at weekly Polish classes in Queens and Brooklyn. The girls, who have a part-Polish mother and Peruvian father, recalled students asking them why they were there.

"Nobody [at Polish school] really takes you seriously," said Angela Lavarello during an interview in the Bronx, N.Y. "I feel like every time you come upon somebody who thinks you're an oddity . . . you have to explain why you're there."

Family Pressures

Still other multiracial teens have felt uncomfortable with their identity due to familial rather than peer pressures.

Sarah DeFilippo, 16, felt more pressure from her family than her friends when it came to her mixed heritage. DeFilippo, who is from Queens, N.Y, has a Trinidadian mother and Italian-German father.

She said in an online interview that her mother's side of the family treats her differently.

"They assume we can't handle pepper in our food, that we don't know what anything is, and that's hurtful because it's like 'here's my family,' but I don't think we're much alike," she said.

Her Italian-German aunt "acts really confused" whenever DeFilippo plays soca music, a highly rhythmic genre of Caribbean music originating in the 1970s from a subculture in Trinidad and Tobago. She remarked, "I think it's harder for her because that whole side of the family was pretty racist against people of color, so there was a lot of culture shock for her."

Others have experienced more explicit familial pressure.

Stephanie Surjeet, 22, who is Punjabi and Haitian, said being multiracial was "kind of like a curse" because her family wanted her to follow differing cultures.

"I could never really relate to my father's side because I just felt ostracized. They would talk about my hair being too curly," she said in a phone interview from her home in Brooklyn, N.Y. "They would say we would act too African American."

Thus, she felt more at home with her Haitian family, who accepted her race.

Surjeet's predicament is an issue that Gomez touches on in her paper. People, she writes, tend to perceive certain mixes "as a sort of betrayal" on the part of the individual for identifying, or appearing to identify, with just one race and rejecting the other.

Despite these struggles, Surjeet acknowledges that being multiracial also leads to more open-mindedness. "Sometimes it's hard to fit in, especially as a kid," she said, "so you have to start kind of figuring out your identity early on."

[…]

Cinderella's new moral: Be rich or be a pumpkin

April 3, 2015

Once upon a time, during a brief egalitarian period in postwar America, people of different classes did not live in separate worlds. The promise of mobility and prosperity was alive throughout the land. In 1950, Walt Disney Productions was saved from bankruptcy with its smash hit Cinderella, which audiences cheered at a time when the future looked bright and it was still possible for the dream of marrying up to come true.

A new Disney film of Cinderella is a big box-office success today, but how different things look! Cinderella marriages are getting to be as rare as golden coaches. Economist Jeremy Greenwood has found that your chances of marrying outside your income bracket have been dropping since the 1950s because of something called assortative mating, which means that we are increasingly drawn to people in similar circumstances.

Since the 1980s, inequality has grown and mobility has stalled. Today, the rich forge their unions in exclusive social clubs, Ivy League colleges and gated communities. Unless you have a fortune or a fairy godmother, you're probably out of luck. Without that magic, the gates remain closed.

At first glance, Kenneth Branagh's remake of the classic Disney film seems to offer a sunny romp through the magic kingdom. But a closer look reveals a troubling economic message.

Economists like Thomas Piketty have been warning that if we don't do something to stop growing income inequality, we may end up back in a 19th-century world, where hard work won't lift you up the economic ladder because the income you can expect from labor is no match for inherited wealth. This is the world of the new Cinderella.

More so than the original Disney film, Branagh's version highlights what happens when people are forced to compete for illusive rewards in a harsh economy. Families turn on each other, chances to get ahead are few and you'd better hope for a magic wand.

Subtle changes to the story bring the point home. In the original animated version, the father is a gentleman, a widower who remarries and then promptly dies, leaving a jealous stepmother and her mean-girl daughters to torment his beloved only child. But in Branagh's film, the father is a merchant, and his death deprives the family of his income - leaving them all in straitened circumstances.

The stepmother's first thought on hearing of her husband's demise is entirely practical: How shall we survive economically? Her answer: Turn Cinderella into a servant and search for wealthy matches for her two daughters.

The marriage market illustrated in the movie reflects what economists like Robert H. Frank describe as a tournament, a "winner-take-all" game associated with economies where wealth is increasingly concentrated at the top. In these cutthroat markets, only a handful of people can win big, while the rest are left with little.

Cinderella and her stepsisters are locked in a down-and-dirty competition for scarce resources, and they understand how high the stakes are. Luckily for her, Cinderella possesses advantages that her sisters lack: She is beautiful and charming.

She is clever, too. But there's no notion that her intelligence can be put to any use other than besting her competitors in the marriage tournament. She's not going to be looking for a job or an education. That's for suckers. Or peasants.

The importance of being rich is clear when Cinderella goes to the ball - the fairy godmother must make her appear to be a wealthy young lady. You can't win the prize dressed in rags. The film may give lip service to the values of kindness and courage, but it's the ability to gain access to luxuries like a bedazzled gown and golden coach that really gets you places.

The privileges of the prince and his fellow one-percenters are simply accepted as an immutable law of the universe. There's no notion of busting up the system, Katniss Everdeen-style. Best to just accept it and grab the goodies if you can.

In the end, Cinderella gets the prince and the palace, and the other women get absolutely nothing. That's the way of tournaments.

The postwar America that was demonstrates that extreme inequality does not have to be our reality. Americans can write their own story so that even people without a fortune can lead a secure and dignified life. Things like making the rich pay their share in taxes, allowing unions to organize and increasing fiscal spending on things like infrastructure and jobs would ensure that many more Americans could expect a happy ending.

But Branagh's Cinderella in no way attempts to question, much less abolish, a paradigm of haves and have-nots that leaves us with fewer opportunities. The film teaches little viewers a harsh lesson: If you're not rich, you may as well be a pumpkin.

[…]

Gender equality: What's in it for men?

March 13, 2015

Convincing men that they are as likely as women to benefit from gender equality is the strongest argument to get them involved in reaching that goal, experts said at the United Nations on Wednesday.

Accepting equality and rejecting gender stereotypes would help end discrimination against men seeking jobs typically done by women, increase their participation in family life, and ease the economic burden of supporting their families as more women enter the workforce, they said.

"It has become clear that if we continue to live in a society where gender inequality exists, we all lose," Martina Vuk, Slovenia's minister for social affairs and equal opportunities, said on day three of the U.N. 59th Commission on the Status of Women.

Gender segregation in the labour market remains a problem for both men and women, said panellists from several countries.

Iceland, for example, has Europe's highest percentage of women in the workforce, at 71 percent according to the World Bank, yet also one of the most segregated labour markets, said Eyglo Hardardottir, the country's minister for social affairs.

"It remains harder for a man to be accepted as a kindergarten teacher than a woman to be accepted as an engineer," she said.

In Austria, less than 2 percent of kindergarten teachers are men, said Alexander Wrabetz, director general of the Austrian Broadcasting Corporation (ORF).

In programming around International Women's Day earlier this month, ORF spotlighted professions with unequal gender representation, Wrabetz said.

In addition to male kindergarten teachers, they included a woman believed to be the country's sole female metalworker, as well as female music conductors, who make up only 17 percent of all Austrian conductors.

Panellists noted that laws and policies encouraging men to take paternity leave have increased their participation in family life.

Yet gender stereotypes rob men of openly enjoying domestic tasks traditionally done by women, said Bafana Khumalo, co-founder of South Africa's Sonke Gender Justice, an NGO working with men and boys to promote equality and fight domestic and sexual violence.

He recalled a workshop where men were reluctant to admit they liked cooking, and said they were so ashamed they drew the kitchen curtains when they made meals.

When asked to consider what men and women in their households did over a 24-hour period, the men in the workshop realised that while they enjoyed leisure time after work and school, the women and girls returned home only to cook and clean.

The discussion prompted some men to re-allocate chores at home, Khumalo said, noting that some reported back that their sex lives had improved because their partners were less tired.

"Gender equality is not just about policies," he said. "It's about the quality of life."

[…]

Hookah Smoke Contains Cancer-Causing Chemical

December 08, 2014

People who smoke a hookah or inhale secondhand hookah smoke may be breathing in the chemical benzene, a substance that previous research has linked with an increased risk of leukemia, according to a new study.

In the study, researchers collected urine samples from 105 hookah smokers before and after they smoked from a hookah, a pipe that's used to smoke flavored tobacco. They also collected urine samples from 103 people who didn't smoke hookah tobacco but attended events where they'd be exposed to hookah smoke, to test the effect of secondhand hookah smoke on these people's bodies.

The researchers found that urine levels of a compound called S-phenylmercapturic acid (SPMA), which forms when benzene is broken down in the body, increased more than fourfold in the hookah smokers who smoked at a hookah lounge, and increased almost twofold in the people who smoked hookah tobacco at home.

Moreover, levels of SPMA in the urine of people who were at a hookah lounge but hadn't smoked were 2.6 times higher after they were exposed to the hookah smoke in lounges.

"This is the first study to find higher exposures to benzene in hookah smokers after smoking hookah tobacco in social events either in private homes or hookah lounges," said study author Nada Kassem, an associate director at the Center for Behavioral Epidemiology and Community Health at San Diego State University.

"In contrast to what is believed [by many people], hookah tobacco smoking is not a safe alternative to smoking other forms of tobacco," Kassem said.

The researchers also found that the people in the study who didn't smoke hookah had similar levels of SPMA before and after attending hookah-smoking sessions at home, which wasn't the case in people exposed to hookah smoke in lounges. This finding suggests that these people had likely been chronically exposed to benzene from hookah smoke in their homes, the researchers said.

Benzene is present in both hookah tobacco smoke and the emissions from the burning charcoal in a hookah that is used to heat the tobacco, Kassem said.

"In addition to inhaling toxicants and carcinogens found in the hookah tobacco smoke, hookah smokers and nonsmokers who socialize with hookah smokers also inhale large quantities of charcoal combustion-generated toxic and carcinogenic emissions," she told Live Science.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that "long-term exposure to high levels of benzene in the air can cause leukemia."

Previous research has particularly linked benzene with acute myeloid leukemia, a type of cancer of the blood and bone marrow, Kassem said.

The World Health Organization's International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) and the U.S. National Toxicology Program classified benzene as a Group 1 carcinogen. This means that "benzene is carcinogenic to humans, and no safe level of exposure can be recommended," Kassem said.

The findings suggest that health care providers should recognize hookah smoking as a health hazard in their patients, and recommend that people limit their exposure to hookah tobacco smoke in all settings, including homes.

The new study was published Nov. 21 in the journal Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention.

[…]

A play in New York tells tales of two women from India that 'need to be told'

November 22, 2014

In 'Two Women Talking', the actors share memories, laughter, anxieties and their darker encounters with Indian culture.

One rainy fall evening in Brooklyn, two women walk out onto a small stage and stare at the audience. They stand in comfortable silence for several minutes - until the short-haired woman in the blue and white kurta begins to talk.

At her boarding school in Connecticut, she says, three of her suitemates held her down on the bathroom floor, and then proceeded to shave her arms and legs with a razor. They left her cut and bleeding on the tiles. She was 13.

Several members of the audience noticeably gasp.

On stage, the other woman does not react. She watches her fellow presenter, absorbs her words without comment, lets the silence expand.

The two actors are Monsoon Bissell and Benaifer Bhadha. And in Two Women Talking, they are playing roles they have trained for all their lives - themselves.

Piercing stories

For 75 minutes, we watch and listen as they roam across the landscapes of their lives spent in Mumbai, Hartford, London, New York, trading stories in a messy chronology. The stories are often harrowing, jagged with feeling, but the women inhabit them fully, letting the memories subsume them. "I try to hold my mother's hand, she pulls away, I try to hold my mother's hand, she pulls away," Bhadha repeats in a small, bewildered voice, her feet twisting into the pigeon-toed stance of a child.

These stories are not safe for work - or for the drawing room for that matter. There are secrets here, the gut-twisting anxieties and toxic self-loathing that we try not to think about. In one story, Bhadha rages in the bathroom, her hands twisting the roll of flesh at her waist as she shouts "I hate you, I hate you" at her image in the mirror. About to undergo an operation, Bissell begs her doctor: "Can I keep my nipples? I like my nipples."

Every story cuts deep, all the more potent because it is true. What makes the performance astounding is that it is not a performance - not in the usual sense. This is semi-scripted storytelling, live, improvised every evening. We are watching minimalist theatre, drama pared down to its essence, intimate, unsparingly human. On display are fraught encounters with memory, sparked in the moment. The audience, recast as witnesses, are invited to listen, even if the illicit thrill of eavesdropping on secrets feels uncomfortable. As Bissell explains, "The listening shapes the telling, and the telling shapes the listening."

Nowadays, distracted by our devices and schedules, we have forgotten how to listen. On stage, the actors revive this lost art. No one rushes to fill pauses in the monologues with advice or opinions. As one speaks, the other listens, never breaking eye contact.

Indian bond

When they talk, their stories shimmer with startling details. The critic James Wood's phrase, "better noticers of life", comes to mind. I feel the straight backs of chairs in prissy boarding schools against my neck, smell the camphor in the depths of Bissell's grandfather's closet. When Bhadha describes her substance abuse, I feel the dry scrape of the pills in my throat.

Then there is India. The country binds the women together, and it is everywhere. In stories of cosy afternoons spent with tea and steaming samosas in the company of large, loving families, as well as in the darker encounters with a culture, where, as Bissell tells me later, "girls are often told to shut up". When they stray from culturally expected ways, there is a price to pay in guilt, in strained relationships. When Bissell comes out as a lesbian, her mother shuts her down and turns away, refuses to acknowledge or engage with her daughter's sexuality.

But, as Bissell says, "These are stories that no one tells, but need to be told."

Raw connections

Watching these stories spill out, it is easy to believe that Bissell and Bhadha are old friends, performing a comfortable friendship. At one point, Bhadha says, "I have never had a relationship like this." Watching the women interact, that sentiment is not hard to believe - not even when we learn that they met for the first time only a year ago. By the time they started, under Dan Milne's sympathetic, unobtrusive direction, to ready the piece for the stage, they had spent weeks in Manhattan coffee shops, telling each other stories.

Even after a year, there are surprises. Twice in the evening, Bissell exclaims: "Benaifer, you never told that story before."

Like the stories, the relationship comes under scrutiny too. In a particularly tense moment, Bhadha accuses Bissell of hurting her, dismissing her as "not being Indian enough". In one of the most moving moments of the play, Bissell struggles to apologise, at one point asking Bhadha: "Are you going to help me out here?" When she refuses, Bissell stumbles on alone. We watch the relationship evolve, experience their struggle to accept each other, warts and all.

The yearning to connect fully with another is one we all recognise. Yet the openness with which these actors deal with each other is almost painful.

Still, this is precisely why Two Women Talking succeeds. It urges audiences to reengage with listening. The reactions of the audience, their gasps of shock or laughter affect the telling. The safer the actors feel, the more they are willing to reveal.

What of audiences who might be more judgemental? Who might not approve of family laundry being so publicly aired? Would they ever take this show to India, I ask.

Bhadha concedes it might be difficult, that she is not sure if audiences in India are ready. She has already told the story about how her mother refuses to see the show or even acknowledge her success-even though she lives a few hours away. Bissell is more hopeful: "More than any place else, India needs to have two women who are clearly whole and healed tell stories."

"There is power in two women talking," she says.

[…]

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